A woman engaged to be married has expressed her annoyance after her prospective mother-in-law made an unforeseen remark regarding her looks in a bridal gown.
In a recent posting made to the well-known Reddit thread “Wedding Drama,” the
bride
her fiancé’s mother told her to “shed some pounds” before
the wedding
next year.
The lady, who has been with her companion for seven years,
said that while
She isn’t particularly “super close” with her fiancé’s family, but she has consistently felt welcome and accepted by them. She remembered a recent instance when she went shopping for her
wedding dress
For the first time she extended an invitation to her future mother-in-law, but in the end, she was unable to attend.
I felt gorgeous in the dresses, snapped many photographs, and couldn’t wait to post them,” she penned. “While heading back, [my future mother-in-law] messaged me to see if I fancied something, so I forwarded the pics.
“She picked a favorite, saying it looks best on me, but then added, ‘Plus you’ll lose a few pounds so that it looks better,’” the post continued.
The future bride pointed out that she has never expressed wanting to lose weight, and that her focus is on “leading a healthy lifestyle for health reasons rather than for appearance.”
“I found her remark quite distressing, particularly because she has usually been very considerate in the past,” noted the Redditor. “Even though we understand that older people generally have good intentions, dealing with body image issues throughout my upbringing made me feel like she thought I lacked natural attractiveness.”
She mentioned that after telling her fiancé about what happened, he found it difficult to grasp why the remark had bothered her so much.
“He has always been encouraging and never once criticized my physique,” she explained. However, she believes he misinterpreted her concerns and assumed she was distressed over losing weight. She recounted that he told her, “Don’t stress, let’s intensify our workout regimen at the gym and get into fantastic shape.” This comment only aggravated her further, so she requested his thoughts on how she looked.”
“When I questioned him about whether he considered me overweight, he denied it, but remained quiet when I probed as to why we had to ‘step up’ our efforts,” she went on to say.
She made clear that she did not want him to challenge his mother or “force an apology” out of her. Rather, she required him to comfort her and tell her that she doesn’t have to lose weight to feel beautiful. Yet, he chose to “firmly stand his ground” without any conditions.
Many individuals in the comments supported the bride. They encouraged her to share with her groom how hurtful his mother’s remark about her weight was, and they condemned his mother for her insensitive comment.
“I often think that maybe my future mother-in-law and fiancé presumed she would want to lose weight, as many brides (particularly those from the future mother-in-law’s era) have done prior to their weddings. I personally find this practice quite toxic, and both individuals should offer an apology,” someone commented.
I strongly believe your fiancé has voiced his concerns about your weight to his mother. Now she’s acting on his behalf, and he pretends not to understand,” someone asserted. “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t ignore it. This needs to be addressed immediately before it becomes your lifelong issue. Let alone any daughters you might have in the future.
It might be that in the photos, the dresses did not appear at their finest as they were perhaps not tailored perfectly for you, or maybe you required a more supportive bra;” stated another commenter. Should your fiancé believe you should shed some weight and is communicating this via his mother, that’s quite an unsavory approach. You will need to inquire of him why he cannot directly address you about such matters. Being wedded to someone who lacks your trust is truly miserable. Trust my words, I am speaking based on personal experiences.
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