Following the conclusion of Sydney’s initial significant coronavirus lockdown,
I got a puppy
.
I brought her along wherever I went — to cafes, to friends’ places.
out for adventures
to new places.
When another lockdown occurred, the only spot I could visit with her was our nearby park. It was there that I encountered what would become good buddies—the other dog owners from around my neighborhood.
We would gather standing in responsible, socially distanced groups, holding our drinks, as the dogs ran about. (Though we remain close pals, nowadays we enjoy activities such as dining together.)
Watch: The black cat and golden retriever analogy in relationships. Post continues after this.
One of my acquaintances from the dog park hails from Melbourne – a city where I resided for precisely two years. A few years after we became friends, we were having a conversation when I brought up the fact that I attended a tiny all-girls’ school.
“Wait, you went
there
“She questioned.” (I won’t mention the name of the school as, quite frankly, I detested it.)
“I WENT THERE TOO!!!”
It’s quite remarkable, isn’t it? With all the schools in Melbourne, the chances of such a thing happening must be pretty slim, huh?
Even stranger, we discovered that we were at the school simultaneously—despite me being a few years her senior. I attended the senior school (Years 7 and 8), whereas she was in the junior school during those times.
Furthermore, we each spent just a few years at that specific school, yet oddly enough, our periods there coincided.
We didn’t actually
meet
Until about 20-odd years later, but she’s now one of my closest friends.
This perfectly illustrates the concept of the invisible string theory.
The ‘Invisible String Theory’ is a romantic notion rooted in folklore and popularised in modern culture (thanks in part to Taylor Swift) that suggests we’re all connected to certain people by an unseen, unbreakable thread.
The concept revolves around the belief that regardless of time, distance, or situation, the cosmos will inevitably bring these fated individuals together. Should they separate, they would ultimately be drawn back into one another’s lives. In due course.
It’s soothing and lyrical — particularly when dealing with heartbreak or parting — to believe that certain connections are just “destined to be.”
As I ponder over it further, I discover even more instances from my personal experiences where this has occurred. For instance, there’s an ex-partner of mine whom I ran into at a music festival; turns out they had been close friends with my godmother’s oldest child—an individual I have known since infancy—for quite some time without me ever meeting them. There were numerous occasions across several years when our paths could’ve easily intersected, yet somehow didn’t until much later.
For a considerable period after our separation, I firmly believed that we were destined to be together and would ultimately reunite. It’s fortunate that I wasn’t aware of the Invisible String Theory back then; otherwise, I probably wouldn’t have let go as easily.
The point is, it
is
It’s a lovely concept. It exudes charm and fancifulness, and in certain aspects, it might serve as a comforting notion to offer us encouragement during times when we find ourselves perplexed by the departure of individuals from our lives.
It’s akin to an emotional cushion of bubble wrap – tender, safeguarding, and unexpectedly gratifying. Yet much like bubble wrap, it isn’t really designed for enduring usage.
Relying excessively on the Invisible String Theory can lead us to confuse chance occurrences with meaningful destiny. More dangerously, it might make us believe that we have no choice but to hold onto someone or something that doesn’t contribute to our personal development or well-being.
If we convince ourselves that we are meant to be with specific individuals—be it in romantic relationships, friendships, or careers—we may overlook what’s actually happening around us in favor of our belief in destiny. Think about Rory Gilmore rejecting that excellent job offer because she was convinced her path was linked elsewhere.
New York Times
Internship. Not the best choice, sweetheart.)
This tendency might lead us to idealize warning signs, confusing profound emotional bonds with toxic relationships. We may cloak harmful dynamics in the appearance of destiny, causing individuals to dismiss mismatches or bad behavior due to their belief in an overarching universal scheme about to reveal itself. Consequently, we often cling to scenarios beyond our best interests, rationalizing conduct we would typically reject, or rejecting fresh chances and interactions simply because we are “awaiting the string to tighten.”
The issue with Invisible String Theory doesn’t lie in the theory but rather in our application of it.
Like a narrative we create to understand life’s odd intersections? Charming. Playful. Yet used as a guide for relationships? It often leaves us going round and round instead of progressing.
Occasionally, individuals enter our lives with a specific purpose.
and
A season. Simply because your lives intersect in peculiar, fortuitous manners does not imply that you’re destined to traverse the entire journey side by side. Perhaps the unseen thread guided you toward a lesson rather than towards an enduring bond.
Perhaps severing the string is truly the essence of development.
Feature image: Alix Nicholson/ChatGPT.
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